Throughout my coaching career, I’ve had to listen to parents and players who claim that a certain head coach has it out for them for “personal reasons.” I understand their frustration, but also recognize their biases. I went through it myself with my own daughter. Still, I’ve always told them, “Coaches want to win. Period. And they’re going to play the kids who they think give them the best chance to win.”
Reality, I’ve learned, isn’t that black and white. The more I dug into this topic, the more I realize that there are many, many types of coaches. Good, bad and ugly. I still believe, or at least want to believe, that most fall into the “good” category. But it would be naive to think they all do. Some are control freaks, and that’s being kind. Others are little Napoleons, egomaniacs who are far more concerned about satisfying their own selfish needs instead of developing young men or women.
Here’s a great example, drawn from one of the goalie groups I belong to on Facebook. I really felt bad for this particular goalie mom, who was obviously reaching out for support.