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July 10, 2005
STATE OF THE GAMEPlaying to Win
By Lyle Phair | From 
If they’re not playing to win, then what
are they playing for?
That’s a question often asked by those ultra-competitive
adults who can’t, or don’t want to comprehend the de-emphasis
on winning and losing at the younger ages of youth sports.
But kids are playing to win at every age and level
of play, and in every sport or game that they participate in. I
really do believe that playing to win is intrinsic, and if you have
kids or have ever coached kids, you already know that.
Some are more competitive than others. But believe
me, from that very first game of Candyland, it’s quite obvious
that winning is important to children. If it’s not, then how
come the deck always seemed to have been stacked in my daughter’s
favor in our many games of Rugrats Uno?
And even though the score might not be posted,
more often than not the kids know it and they keep track of it themselves.
Some might conveniently miss a few goals against or strategically
add a few goals for their team, but they definitely know some version
of the score. If you don’t believe me, go and watch any game
where the kids playing are under 8 (although this holds true for
older kids and adults as well) and I can guarantee you that there
is at least one player from each team who takes it upon himself
to announce the score after each goal.
To get back to the original question, there are
a number of very different and very valid reasons to play a sport
other than playing just to win. First and probably foremost is physical
exercise. Most kids today just don’t get enough of exercise
at school or at home, and organized sports are one of the few outlets
that provide that opportunity.
Second, there’s the social dynamic of being
on a team, co-existing with teammates and coaches, and working together
toward achieving some common goals.
Then there’s the learning and development
of new physical skills, like the ability to skate faster, shoot
harder and more accurately, make and receive passes, and interact
with teammates on the ice. Along with that, there’s the notion
of creating strong work habits. The harder you play (or work), the
better you will become and the more success that you will have.
Also there’s the mental side of the game,
including playing within the rules of the game, learning strategies
and developing the cognitive skills to think the game. Players must
learn where to be and when to be there, what works and doesn’t
work, and how to adapt to opponents and defend what they do well.
I could go on and on, but I am sure that you get the message. There’s
much, much more to organized sports than just keeping track of the
winning and losing.
In reality, everyone plays to win. To some it’s
more important than others, and they’ll do anything that they
see fit within the rules (and often outside of the rules) to ensure
that they come out on top at the end. And that’s not necessarily
a bad thing. Competition is good. Competitiveness is good. I just
don’t think it needs to be emphasized by the adults because
the kids nurture it naturally.
Let’s face it, the concept of not keeping
score isn’t for the kids, it’s for the adults. And in
many cases, the adults can’t handle it. Take for example the
coach who “plays the clock” in a curfew rink. We’ve
all seen it. The score is close, one team is pressing to tie it
while the other is scrambling to protect its lead. It starts with
the slow line changes at every whistle. Then the organized confusion
begins, “Oh, we have too many players on the ice? Sorry, I
didn’t know, it’s so hard to keep track of these things.”
Then comes probably the most despicable, timely, well-scripted “injury”
to one of players on the team with the lead to eat up valuable minutes
on the curfew clock.
There are also the coaches who “play the
scoreboard” rather than playing all of their players in a
game. A team gets behind early and the “weaker” players
on a team suddenly find their rear ends glued to the bench, while
the coach “rides the horses” in an attempt to get back
in the game.
Over the course of the season, there are also
the coaches who “play the standings.” It happens at
all levels. In house leagues where an association sends its top
one or two teams (determined by the standings) to the District Playoffs,
it’s not uncommon for coaches to completely disregard the
fact that every player deserves the opportunity to play and improve
in an effort to secure one of those top two spots so that they can
get to that coveted District Tournament – no matter who they
have to step on or over to get there.
It’s not just the coaches. For many parents,
the only way to quantify the success of their team or the progress
of their player is by the wins and losses. Often they get a false
sense of achievement based on the fact that their child’s
team wins most or all of their games, when in fact in many instances
the games are won or lost before the kids step on the ice solely
because of the disparity in talent level of the teams. More often
than not, they’re in for a rude awakening when the tables
get turned. And they will get turned. Nobody goes through life winning
all of the way.
Conversely, they might feel that their child is
not having a good experience or making any progress because their
team is losing most of their games. Yet the player might be having
a great time, making new friends, seeing a different perspective,
and learning new concepts and ideas from the experience that will
help him or her in the future. After all, winning is easy. How you
react and adapt to losing is really the true measure of a person.
Whether we choose to recognize it or not, playing
to win is a very significant facet of competition at any age and
any level. What we adults need to understand and remember is that
while winning is important, just playing is much more important.
Lyle Phair can be reached at feedback@hockeyjournal.com.
This article appears in the July issue of
New England Hockey Journal. Click here
to subscribe to the magazine.
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